Fic: Slobo's Booth, G

[stinglikeabee]

Title: Slobo's Booth
Claim: General DCU
Characters/Pairing: Young Justice
Rating: G
Word Count: 1,516
Prompt: Fuzzy (T15, P31)
Summary: Slobo needs money. He thinks building a booth and offering advice might just be the ticket.
Disclaimer: DC owns my soul the characters
Author's Notes/Warnings: Rampant artistic license. Also, hints of pairings.


'Whatchu doin', Slobo?'

'Trying to raise money, Secret. I need it to buy the Fuzzy Mandrigan spark plug for my universal cycle enhancement.' He adjusted the sign. 'Ten bucks a session.'

'For what?'

He stepped back, gazing at the stand. 'Hmm? Psychotherapy, advice, that sort of thing. Think of me as your friendly alien counselor.'

'Slobo?'

'Wait!' He hurried to a seat. 'Okay, I'm ready. And it'll be ten bucks, please.'

Secret blushed. 'Um, how many quarters for a hug?'

--

'Dude, I'm Superman. I mean, yeah, not now, but I will be. You know? And yo, how come the chicks are all, you got no game SB. Is it the hair? Or the fact that I'm Super - Boy and not Super - Teen? Cos that's even lamer. Hell, I'd call myself Bats if-'

'For the love of--! Money first, talk later!'

Kon reached down, pantomimed turning out his pockets, although his suit obviously didn't have pockets. At Slobo's dark look, Kon stuck out his tongue, and jumped into the air.

'You damn, dirty punk!' shouted Slobo, shaking a fist as the kid's mocking laughter rang in his ears.

--

'What are you doing?'

Slobo yelped and glared behind him. 'Will you quit that?!'

Robin didn't answer, and poked at the stand. 'Answer my question.'

'Part-time job.' The patented glare didn't faze him. 'You know, I've got a Bat-clan special for 8 bucks. Stick removal from butt thrown in for free.'

Slobo grinned as Robin stalked away.

--

Empress showed up next, arms crossed, and with a steely glint in her eyes.

'Secret tells me you're giving away advice.'

'Not for free!' He pointed at the sign. 'See?'

She barely glanced at the amount. 'You take credit cards?'

--

'Hey, Slobo.'

His head remained fastened to the board. 'Not... now. TMI. So much TMI.'

'Will cash help you heal faster?'

Slobo sat up and smoothed down his spikes. 'Let's talk.'

Cissie smirked and settled on the black footstool. 'And how much will it cost to buy whatever Empress has told you?'

'I could never infringe on the sacred doctor-patient privilege.'

'Newsflash, dingus. You're not a doctor, and she paid you a bunch of money to keep you quiet. And I can pay you even more money to make you talk. So spill!'

Slobo bit his lower lip. 'Sorry,' he said, his voice less tremulous than expected. 'I... I can't do it.'

Cissie tapped her nails on the wood, once. 'Bad choice, kiddo. I'll see you around.'

He shivered.

--

Secret showed up wanting hugs, again. Slobo lied and said Kon was paying people to give him kisses like the sad little horndog he was. Thankfully she fell for it, and went away happily.

--

He was busy calculating the shipping costs of the Mandrigan spark plug from the planet Sotrides when he heard the sniffling. It was Wonder Girl.

She placed two $5 bills on the counter, sat down, and slid off the footstool. Slobo peered over the edge of the booth, slightly worried his newest customer might be too emotional to work with.

In between hiccups and tears, Wondy explained. 'I heard you were helping out Anita, but not Cissie, and now they're inside screaming at each other. HIC, why can't we jush get along?'

Slobo sighed. 'And how does that make you feel?'

--

'I hope you're happy.'

'GAH!' Slobo whirled around.

Robin struck the beam a few inches away from Slobo's temple. 'Empress and Arrowette are at each other's throat, and Wonder Girl's writing very loud poetry.'

'Hey,' said Slobo, trying to wriggle out of the very... intimate position Robin had locked him into. 'All I did was provide a service that was sorely needed. My customers needed to vent, and I let them pay me.'

Robin's breath was hot against his cheek, and Slobo was trying very hard to think about that. 'And Secret?'

'What...' Slobo cleared his throat. 'What about her?'

'She seems to think kissing Kon would make money. Now where would she get that idea?'

His gaze drew to Robin's lips. Robin's kissable lips. Panic made Slobo hit his head backwards against the beam. 'ARGH?'

'Answer me.'

Damn, Robin was sexy when he was angry. All that rage, directed to one person; it was really hot. Slobo opened his mouth. And shut it. Thinking am hard.

Robin drew back slightly, anguish curling his top lip. 'I knew letting you set up this booth was a bad idea! You should have seen Secret's face when Kon told her he wasn't paying. It was like a puppy had di-- What's so funny?'

'Haha! Kon didn't, hee! He couldn't pay for a session either!'

The other boy frowned. 'I don't get it.'

'Did you, haha, get a look at Kon when he told Secret?'

'Yeah. Ohhh.'

Slobo straightened up, and hid a last giggle. 'Bet it wasn't the first time he'd had to tell a girl he was broke.'

Robin warily eyed him. 'That may be true, but now we have to deal with something worse.'

Slobo blanched. 'Worse?'

'Secret decided she liked kissing Kon after all, money or no money. Thanks to you, we're going to endure a week of non-stop PDA from those two.'

'Oh ewwww!' He slapped his forehead. 'Mental image. Out. OUT!'

'Now have I convinced you what you've done is wrong?'

'This again! Look, Robbie.' He stabbed a finger into Robin's... rock hard chest. 'I sorely regret the events that happened, but I can't be held responsible for other people's reactions!'

Robin crushed his hand.

He quickly changed gears. 'C'mon, ol' buddy, ol' pal. I need the money.'

'What for?'

Slobo squeaked as the pain throbbed. 'Fuzzy Mandrigan spark plug for my universal cycle enhancement.'

Robin released his grip. 'Is that all? Kord Industries has a used bunch of those in their Gotham warehouse.'

He shook the circulation back into his hands. 'Oh, thanks for letting me know.'

'You only had to ask,' replied the other boy blandly.

Slobo threw a dirty look at Robin. 'Riiiight. So, wanna tell me where in Gotham I can find the part?'

'Not so fast.'

Slobo found himself thrown against the beam of the booth.

'Aren't you forgetting something?'

'Uh, if this is about the stick removal from your butt comment-'

Robin glared. 'I meant about payment, but thanks for reminding me.'

'Crap.' Slobo swallowed and watched half in fear and half in anticipation as Robin came closer. 'How much are we talking here? Because after credit card receipts--' A heavy glove clamped down on his lips.

'I knew I should have kept a closer eye on you.'

Slobo whimpered, eyes fixated on the luscious parted lips that wouldn't stop moving.

'After all the trouble you've caused--'

Slobo dizzily wondered if Robin's voice always became this husky when he fought criminals.

'--if the JLA were to find out how we've lost it, when we've come so--'

He shoved back with all his might, his mind tucking away the image of a totally shocked Robin defenseless for just a miniscule moment. That was all the time Slobo needed.

He grabbed Robin by the collar and hungrily kissed him.

True, he wasn't getting much back in return. But it was still pretty damn good.

Robin staggered back, mouth agape.

'HeyguyssorryI'mlate. What did I miss?' Impulse glanced between both boys.

'Nothing!'

Impulse raised an eyebrow at Robin. 'What's this booth doing here?'

Slobo coughed. 'I'll sell it to you for ten bucks, Imp.'

'Wow, okay!'

Robin's blatant stare bore holes into Slobo's back. He ignored them, and concentrated on the crumpled bits of paper and heavy coins Impulse was pulling out of thin air. After the yens and bahts were picked out of the pile, Slobo and Impulse shook hands. The booth had a new owner.

Impulse took a seat behind the counter. 'So what do I do now?'

'Anything you want, Mr Small Business Owner. Your success is entirely up to you.'

Robin scowled. 'Slobo--'

'Gotta go, Imp. Me and Robbie have important business to attend to.'

'What?'

'Yeah, you were telling me about payment for heading down to Gotham. And I do believe I have a fistful of dollars right here.' Slobo's voice dropped, mimicking Robin's earlier tone. 'And if that isn't enough, I know another way I could pay.'

Impulse waved. 'Bring me back some taffy!'

Robin swallowed. 'Okay,' he finally said, in a gruff way that was supposed to mean it was all his idea after all. 'But I'm keeping my eyes on you.'

'And other things?'

'... Shut up.'

Slobo grinned. Best part-time job ever.