Fic: The Case of the Day-Glow Superhero, PG-13

[stinglikeabee]

Title: The Case of the Day-Glow Superhero
Claim: General DCU
Characters/Pairings: Young Justice, Batman, Superman, and a special guest star
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Kon wakes up feeling ill, and the team insists on finding out how it happened
Word count: 1,510
Prompt: Day-glow (T15, P048)
Disclaimer: DC owns my soul the characters
Notes: Thoroughly silly. You've been warned!


The world was spinning, and Kon wanted off. He whimpered and crouched against the wall, head tucked under an arm. There was a musky, almost sweet smell everytime he breathed, and in between trying not to die he wondered where it was coming from.

Something sharp and bony poked his side. He slumped to the ground.

'Kon, if this is a joke...'

His right thigh bone burst in pain.

'Cissie!' he hissed, in a way obvious to mean her name for a swear word.

'C'mon, you pulled the same stunt last week. Bart's been looking for his nose ever since.'

Kon rolled onto his side, and struggled to breathe. 'THIS is diff-- ARRGH.'

'What's wrong?'

He curled up and wrapped his arms around himself, whimpering.

'What kind of rave did you go to anyway? You're day-glo. What, did you spoon Slimer?'

He angrily raised his voice to tell her to shut up, but managed to sputter and cough heartily instead.

Cissie's voice lost its cynical edge. 'Lemme get someone.'

Aspirin. That was what he needed, not the rest of Young Justice gawking at his prone body.

He said as much before fainting, though he retained the part where he heard Cissie giggling as he slurred, 'I just need asss...'

***

The comforting smell of cinnamon woke him up. In front of his still-closed eyes, he imagined it to be a slice of Ma's famous apple pie cooling on a windowsill. Then he began to wonder why the back of his neck was drooling.

'Keep your head down.'

'Muh?' He jerked upright, and was shoved back onto the carpet by green gloves. 'Why am I wet?'

Sniggering, he heard sniggering.

'Kon.' With the tiny flashlight out of his eyes, he saw it was Robin speaking. 'You're running a fever, that's why you're sweating. I've checked your heartbeat, and it's slowing down at a rate I'm not happy with.'

'Is it... is it bad? You'd tell me, right?'

Good old Robin gave him a wry little smile. 'You're in good hands. Let's get you downstairs.'

He caught a whiff of cinnamon again. It was Cassie.

'You missed breakfast. Kathy made delicious cinnamon rolls with icing.' She looped his right arm over her shoulder. 'Don't worry, we saved you some.'

'Promise?'

'Yep, and there's enough for you and Superman downstairs.'

'WHAT?!'

Cassie tugged his arm back into position. 'Hey, watch it.'

He dug in his heels. 'Dude, you really don't need to call him. I'm fine. FINE. Really.' Trying for support, he glanced around.

Cissie and Bart stood watching not ten feet away, with something like smugness.

'Superman's downstairs,' said Cissie.

'Wif Batman,' Bart said, muffled behind a surgical mask.

Definitely smugness.

***

'Conner.'

He glanced away, dreading the look on Superman's face. Luckily his seat at the kitchen table meant he was able to stare out the window easy. 'I'm fine. Must have been something I ate. Funny huh?'

'Something you ate.'

'Yes.'

'You... ate.'

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. 'Yep.'

'Son.' The heavy hand of the mighty Superman clamped onto his shoulder. Kon saw it coming from miles away, sorta like Godzilla's foot falling down onto a piece of Tokyo. Panic mixed in with the tear-enducing pain churning away in his lower abdomen. 'You can tell me. Did you eat a piece of Kryptonite for a bet?'

'WHAT?'

Superman's eyes were bluer than usual. Kon wondered if this meant he was being scanned. Damnit, another power like x-ray vision he still didn't have.

'It's all right,' Superman said, in a strange calm tone he'd never heard before. 'I won't get mad, I promise.'

Kon took a deep breath. 'First of all, no, I did not eat a piece of Kryptonite. And two, what jackass would do that for a bet?'

He heard two coughs behind him, and knew right away it belonged to Batman. What he wasn't prepared for was to see Superman blush.

'Look, he tricked me!'

Before Kon could begin to formulate a response to that, Robin cut in.

'Tell them what happened this morning.'

He rubbed the back of his neck and wiped his wet hand on his costume. 'Woke up feeling like crap. Mouth dry, head throbbing, felt like a hangover.' He quickly continued, interrupting Superman's inevitable comment about the evils of alcohol. 'But I didn't have a single drink.'

'Not last night?'

He shook his head. 'I'm about to walk to the kitchen for breakfast when it gets dizzy. Cissie was there and FYI, she hit me. I'm on the floor, yeah, and the next thing I know she kicked me!'

Everyone looked at Cissie, who merely shrugged.

'Maybe it's something you had last night?'

'Speaking of which,' Robin said. 'I noticed you weren't home by curfew.'

Kon gave him the death glare that telegraphed you-little-snitch-may-your-manties-itch-for-months with a mere twitch of an eyebrow.

'Is this true?'

Kon turned to focus the death glare to Batman, but the sheer gravitas of the veteran's try-it-punk-don't-you-know-I'm-the-goddamn-Batman laser vision quickly shot down and buried that attempt. Repeatedly.

'Yes, sir.'

Superman made an exasperated sigh. 'What on earth were you doing all night?''

'Um, you know. Stuff.'

'Oh, you should have said.'

'Look Superman, it's... it's kinda private.' He leaned in. 'I was with someone.'

'So you were doing someone last night.'

Kon dropped his head in his hands as the group tittered. 'Kal, can he please leave?!'

Superman blinked and frowned at Batman. 'He's only trying to help. Aren't you?'

'The situation is thus,' said Batman, as if nothing had changed. 'We know the kid was fine yesterday afternoon during training practice because he destroyed three hologrammed synthoids and tried to cop a feel of the fourth programmed to appear as Halle Berry.'

'Heh, she was ho--- HEY!'

'But sometime between 7.00pm after dinner and approximately 5.00am when he returned to the house, the kid must have picked up the contamination elsewhere. Or should I say, from someone.'

Cissie snapped her fingers. 'Slimer!'

'NO!'

Bart shuffled to the front. 'I fink we forgot to ask ourselves if Kon is infectious.'

'If there was a chance Kon could infect the rest of us with whatever he has, Batman would have told us.' Robin turned around. Batman held a kitchen chair by its legs. 'What... do you think you're doing?'

'Autopsy.'

'No.'

'Autopsy.'

'We've had this conversation before. No cutting open my best friends, I don't care if, if, they come back from the dead. And again, you can't have autopsies on the living.'

Batman chucked the chair over his shoulder. 'Fine, but when he's dead--'

Kon clutched Superman's arm and whined.

'You know,' said Batman confidentially. 'This wouldn't happen if you'd listen to me and placed a tracer in--'

'FOCUS!' Cassie clapped her hands with the air of a seal trainer. 'FOCUS PEOPLE. I want to find out just who Kon spent the night with.' She seethed. 'Was it Knockout? That slut!'

As one, the assembled group of superheroes moved their attention to a sweaty, greenish teenage boy who wanted nothing more than a giant hole to swallow him up. Heck, even a rabid weasel attack would be preferable. Right now, Kon would even take karaoke night with a sober Lobo. But what he got instead was a cheery knock on the window pane.

'Is that--?' Bart threw open the large kitchen windows, and everyone gaped.

'Hiya folks! Just your friendly neighborhood Spiderman swinging by to say hello.' He landed neatly on the floor and strutted towards the table, a familiar leather jacket under an arm. 'I uh, wanted to drop this off in person. Oh hey, what's with the green--'

They watched in horrified silence as Spiderman crumpled to the ground. Batman looked at everyone, splintered chair pieces still in his hands.

'What?'

Superman on the other hand, hadn't noticed. He got to his feet and started pulling at his hair, an agonised moan filling the room. 'OHSWEETPUMPKINPIEWHATDIDYOUDOKONWHATDIDYOUDOOOOO?!'

'Uh,' said Kon, cheeks burning. 'It depends on what your definition of 'did' is.'

'No wait, I don't get it.' Cissie whispered in Cassie's ear. 'Radioactive? NO!'

'Me, me!' With tears in her eyes, Cassie whispered in Bart's ear. 'I don't get it.' She tried again. 'I still don't get it.' Again. 'Why would Spiderman put that in there?'

'It was a crossover,' denied Kon weakly, over the shocked protests and sounds of Batman and Robin arguing about fitting Spiderman in the trunk of the Batmobile. He laid his head on the table and closed his eyes. Some days just weren't worth the trouble getting up.

Comments

[axolotl-lan.livejournal.com]

The crack... oh the crack.. spidey! >_<' good work!

[cold-nostalgia.livejournal.com]

*snerk* Loved it. Great work as always.

[roguecatwoman.livejournal.com]

LOL! Poor Kon!! =D

[stinglikeabee.livejournal.com]

Haha, thank you! I blame scans_daily for the crack. If I had never read the post about Mary Jane dying from exposure to Spidey's radioactive blood I would have never written this. Thanks, SD!

[stinglikeabee.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Are you going to be writing anything soon? *nudge nudge*

[stinglikeabee.livejournal.com]

Hehe, Cissie and Bart would say he deserved it.

[pervyficgirl.livejournal.com]

*gigggles.* Oh, Kon. *pats him.*

[stinglikeabee.livejournal.com]

It was a crossover! That's the story and Kon's sticking to it :D

[cold-nostalgia.livejournal.com]

Sorry for the late reply, haven't checked my e-mail in over a week.

Yup, I'm hoping to a least get a couple of drabbles done and posted sometime this week, see if that gets me back into the swing of things. Thanks for asking. :)