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Mar. 31st, 2008 12:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stinglikeabeeTitle: Dear Miss Piggy
Author:
kitsune_starsCharacters/Pairing: Miss Piggy, Kermit, Gonzo
Rating: G (Haaaaard G)
Word Count: 351
Prompt: Dear John Letter (
nanoljers)Summary: Miss Piggy receives a Dear John Letter
Disclaimer: I no own any of this?
Author's Notes/Warnings: Prepare to groan.
Dear Ms Piggy,
Or if I may call you, Piggy.
Sorry, sorry, Miss Piggy it is.
Ahem. This is a letter from the depths of my heart for the goddess in my life. The Miss Piggy I know has blue eyes like the colour of the sky after a rain shower. She has the perfect blond curls of an angel, and the sweet karate chops of an avenging crusader. For so many years, she has been the light in my life but I now know the truth. The Miss Piggy I know is much too perfect for a simple green frog.
These perilous thoughts have haunted me: how could I be so lucky? What have I ever done to deserve her? I became heartbroken at the thought that I could in some way ruin a magnificent creature like yourself.
For the sake of your true self, leave me. I know there is someone out there, just waiting for you. Someone who is more your equal and can make you happier than I ever could.
Your darling,
Kermit
"'Ruin a magnificent creature like yourself?' Gonzo, are you sure this is going to work?"
Gonzo folded the letter and slipped it back into his pocket. "Trust me Kermit, it's perfect. Now she'll have to leave you alone!"
Kermit sighed. "But the letter doesn't even sound like me!" He turned around to open the door. "I just hope she won't be too upset."
Kermit backed away slowly. "Oh, hello there."
What he found behind the door was a very familiar figure blocking the entryway. And it looked like she was in a mood.
"KERMY."
"Oh um, yes, nice day, isn't it?"
Miss Piggy clutched a white piece of paper in her hand and raised it in the air. Kermit squeaked.
"Oh. I knew I forgot something." Gonzo laughed nervously and inched farther away from the door. "I may have sent a copy to her first."
Miss Piggy threw out a bloodcurdling shriek at the top of her lungs. This cued Kermit and Gonzo to scream and run out of the room, chased by a furious pig promising to show off her Pig Wan Do moves on their tiny little heads.
Or if I may call you, Piggy.
Sorry, sorry, Miss Piggy it is.
Ahem. This is a letter from the depths of my heart for the goddess in my life. The Miss Piggy I know has blue eyes like the colour of the sky after a rain shower. She has the perfect blond curls of an angel, and the sweet karate chops of an avenging crusader. For so many years, she has been the light in my life but I now know the truth. The Miss Piggy I know is much too perfect for a simple green frog.
These perilous thoughts have haunted me: how could I be so lucky? What have I ever done to deserve her? I became heartbroken at the thought that I could in some way ruin a magnificent creature like yourself.
For the sake of your true self, leave me. I know there is someone out there, just waiting for you. Someone who is more your equal and can make you happier than I ever could.
Your darling,
Kermit
"'Ruin a magnificent creature like yourself?' Gonzo, are you sure this is going to work?"
Gonzo folded the letter and slipped it back into his pocket. "Trust me Kermit, it's perfect. Now she'll have to leave you alone!"
Kermit sighed. "But the letter doesn't even sound like me!" He turned around to open the door. "I just hope she won't be too upset."
Kermit backed away slowly. "Oh, hello there."
What he found behind the door was a very familiar figure blocking the entryway. And it looked like she was in a mood.
"KERMY."
"Oh um, yes, nice day, isn't it?"
Miss Piggy clutched a white piece of paper in her hand and raised it in the air. Kermit squeaked.
"Oh. I knew I forgot something." Gonzo laughed nervously and inched farther away from the door. "I may have sent a copy to her first."
Miss Piggy threw out a bloodcurdling shriek at the top of her lungs. This cued Kermit and Gonzo to scream and run out of the room, chased by a furious pig promising to show off her Pig Wan Do moves on their tiny little heads.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-01 03:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-01 07:15 am (UTC)