the happy mania

Long time no see! How's everyone's New Years? I had great fun with one happy friend and one pouty friend, so maybe things evened out a bit? I'm having a rough go of it right now, hustling to sell as many things as I can for cash and trying to find a buyer for the car.

I ALMOST had the car situation sewed up with a buyer who would have taken it off my hands today, had it not been for the fact that I was out $250 to pay the balance on the loan. No problem, I said, I'll give my mother a call for an emergency loan. That turned out to be a big mistake as she freaked out about the amount I was selling the car for and badgered me for the buyer's phone number. I don't know what was said, but by the time I got together the cash needed from other sources and called the buyer I got an abrupt response saying they'll think about whether they still want the car or not.

Now, if they decide on Monday that they don't want the car, I have about 5 days to find another buyer. It'd make me cry if I hadn't already hives from the stress. FML.

Anyways, enough of that downer tale. Enjoy the first Perpetua picture of the year:

Had a bit of bad news come at me today -- and by bad I mean bad enough for me to wonder if Obama could help me out -- and I'm trying my best to avoid it. I'd love to have someone to talk to, but seeing as I won't have a clear idea of what happens next till tomorrow I'm settling for smothering my anxiety with the telly.

Speaking of which, I've just finished the documentary Anyone and Everyone on PBS. It spotlights the stories of a select group of parents of gays and lesbians. Surprisingly, there were plenty of understanding parents who would be considered as extremely conservative, those who had believed homosexuality was a sin.

It strikes me as insane that anyone can insist being gay is a choice. Or that there are places in the US where it is expected coming out will mean plenty of beat downs by the jocks. Just because the urban areas have become safer for those under the rainbow doesn't mean we should ignore those in the farmland. As one of the mothers says, everyone -- not just gays and lesbians -- must stand up for each other.

The lesson here: open your heart, your mind, and love your child.
 

Cripes, it's the end of January and I still hadn't even started on the Janovel. Ugh. Not even sure if I can get it restarted with life being what it is.

As for the bad news, work is still waffling whether to rehire me. True, they made an offer, but it's actually not set in stone. It really stings to know you're practically disposable. As if all that talk about training and learning employees for a lifetime was just another business gimmick. Meanwhile, a friend's been trying to find me another company in California that'll be interested, so I'm trying my hardest not to be too bitter. *sigh* If things don't look up, I'll probably head out and do what all in-crisis-twenty-somethings do: backpack around Southeast Asia. Then come Autumn, I'll see what my choices are.

When life hands you lemons, make lemonades right?

Speaking of lemons, vegancooking has a recipe for lemon bars here. Haven't tried it yet, but I think it's perfect for my recent vegan diet. It's not a full time thing, two meals out of a week's worth will usually be seafood or meat. But I kinda like it, this eating fresh veggies and avoiding things that'll set off my allergies. I have noticed a lot of vegans tie their food choice to ethical living. That's cool, but I'm uneasy some people denigrate others who do consume meat products. Name-calling and cyber-bullying isn't going to help your case.

Aside from being confronted occasionally with the omni-haters postings, it's been great learning about legumes and gluten and textured vegetable protein. I've bought a bunch of new things to experiment with :D The creativity of vegan food is astounding - burgers made out  tofu or chickpeas, mock meat that kinda looks like duck, a million ways to prepare legumes.

Also: a vegan diet makes you fart a lot. Seriously.

It's been an especially emotional day. There has been an awful decision made about my status, and now my employment authorisation's revoked. There was barely enough to time to say goodbye at the office; I made sure the projects were completed, signed off, packed up, and said goodbye. It was only after my direct supervisor gave me a goodbye hug that I allowed myself to cry. Almost three years at the job and I suddenly was forced to leave.

I'm very glad the company's supporting me by directing their attorneys to help me contest the decision. My own attorney's a bloody useless unprofessional git, so I need all the help I can get. It doesn't change the fact now that I'm unemployed, I'm broke. I have no idea how I'm going to pay for my car loan and insurance. Or for food. And without insurance I can't renew my prescriptions. Worse thing still, I can't direct do anything about the situation. The lawyers are battling it out and all I can do is wait on the sidelines until something comes up in my favour.  I don't even want to think about what happens if the appeal fails.

Oh well. I guess I should Always Look On The Bright Side of Life. This means more time for the Nano. *sigh*